February… almost…

So it’s been a long time since I posted, due to christmas, exams, getting shit sorted, etc and I thought I’d just come on tonight to make a quick post about routines.

Routines in and of themselves are useful, sure, every PUA should have a couple in their pockets for ‘just in case’ moments, but they should not be used in place of a genuine, honest personality. I find that a lot of PUAs I’ve met that rely on these have a fatal lack of personality and while they may be able to pull every once in a while, they have more flakes and less long-term success than a lot of others.

What you need to do instead is learn the CONCEPTS behind the routines and apply your own personality to it. Case and point, one friend of mine used the ‘who lies more’ opener the other day. I could have slapped him! He used it as a crutch to talk to these girls rather than saying something natural and spontaneous.

DHVs should be stories from your own life, like I could tell about high school art teacher, the plays i’ve been in, the movie i’m auditioning for, etc etc. take the concept, apply yourself.

that’s it for today. it’s half 1 in the morning and i’m tired. ciao.

The first step…

So today I took my first step in getting back into acting.

well, my third step if you count deciding to do it and registering for a course.

The step today was turning up to the first sessionin said course. We did a few small exercises and got to know each other. There were:

Matt, who leads the course.
Pat, a lovely lady, recently retired,
Liam, a guy about my age who didn’t seem too into the acting and reminded me of Lloyd from high school.
Claire, a lovely girl with slight overbite.
Ana, a starlett in the making, rather good at the acting especially in the ‘who me?’ exercise.
Kevin, who (if I remember correctly) teaches acting and who is good at tap dancing.
Burnie, who is taking a drama course at Hull college having previously done chemistry.

People I can’t remember:

Ellie? who recently graduated to teach the course.
Claire’s friend (carmen?)
Burnie’s friend.
A- who lives one street over from me, is french and previously did chemistry.
lady with red hair.
Pat’s friend.

We did a few exercises:

Hi, my name is ‘X’ and these are my friends (names of people who went before you)
Find out as much as you can about one of the others (i got Pat, who loves Spern point, a bird sanctuary)
Number ‘X’, (Who, me?) yes you, (not me,) then who? (Number ‘X’)
Slap, Clap, Click, Click
improvise a small scene.
repeat improvisation with numbers.
repeat improvisation with colours

All in all, was a fun hour and a half. I just want to do more of it.

THE LIST

As anyone should know by now, My blog has become a drive to create awesomeness within yourself. To that end, a group of PUAs have started to compile a list of things that demonstrate an active lifestyle…

People who contributed:
Sinsitive
Antithesis
MHFenix
Alpha Lion
Tony DiNozzo

The rules were that each suggestion had to (and/or):

+ Generate DHV stories
+ Be a positive influence to your body shape
+ Be a good base to social interaction

:::THE LIST:::

Sports
- Join a sportsclub, be part of a team. (soccer/football, hockey, basketball, baseball etc)
- Go to the Gym
- Get a bicycle/recumbent bike and do tours. You could if you have the time do a 2-4 day tour and sleep at strangers.
- Running, you will get to know your neighbourhood a bit better since you’re more on the streets (talk to ppl, sai HI etc) so when you’re going home with a girl odds are lots of people will say HI in a very friendly way. Looks good if they like you.
- Martial Arts Will generate DHV, get you in shape, boost self-confidence

Hobbies
- Have a hobby that generates stories. Making models, for instance, not exciting, donating the models to charity (or auctioning them off with the money going to charity, etc) shows depth of character.
- Collecting stamps is very 1964. However, collecting stuff that includes an active life can help. Sinsitive collects small flags of countries that he has visited (for example). They all have stories (huge DHV) attached.
- Travel. Either within your country, or overseas, maybe even just go to new places in your own city. You’ll meet new people, have some stories to tell and usually have fun…

Music/arts/media
- Learn to play an instrument (guitar works great, nice at parties and everyone seems to own one somewhere)
- Paint and put anything nice in your living room for people to ask about.
- Take dacing lessons
- Photography (DHV, tell models what to do, you’re in authority) Landscapes work well too…

Career/Jobs
- Have a job that you can be proud of. One that generates interesting stories that can show DHV in any way.

- Jobs can also be seen as social events if you work close with others. Pick one that has colleages who add to your skills, life etc etc.

Social meetings
- Join couchsurfing.org and make your house available for 1or more people to stay for a night. Have a good fun night and have lot’s of talks and some drinks. They also have town/region/city meetings so you can meet other couchsurfers in the area. It’s also nice to meet other people from your city and tell them “if I get a request but cant host, can I recommend you?” MEET people.
- Have “movie nights” where you invite 3-10 people, make one HUGE pizza, let them bring drinks etc. (been doing this for 2 years, the strangest things happend haha)
- Have an oldskool monopoly night with 3-4 friends, drinks, music etc.
- Have a WII-evening/night where you compete and once more drink and have fun.
- Go to a coffeeshop, and say hi to people in a very friendly way.
- Restaurants are very nice to eat and have fun. Be aware of good restaurants that cook various cousines!! *looking for a nice place is lame*

Social Knowledge
- Watch lot’s of movies so when movies are discussed you have your opinion about it.
- Keep track of the local/national TOP40/50 so you have an opinion about songs people talk about.
- Be aware of things, politics, events around you, follow the news.

Other
- Get in the media (tv, radio, newspapers.. or even front page of major internet sites) to get DHV stories.
- Learn how to cook great extremely healthy food. knowing what’s what in a supermarket is great to use as an opener and cooking together is fun and def a nice reason to invite a girl over.

- Learn a forgeign language. Especially French and Spanish is nice and romantic.
- Know what good drinks are. Get some basic knowledge of wines and other drinks. Look up some party-drinks.

Internet
- Join some forums (if possible about local stuff so you can meet up easily, btw nice to see you here. ^_^)
- Join social networking sites and say hi to people based on some interests (oh hi, I saw your doing arts.. been doing it for long now? NOT just the general “hi how are ya?”)
- If you have an actife life, post video’s of it online. Show how much fun you are. Your likely to get comments from people with the same interests.
- Have a blog with lot’s of pictures and one liners. People won’t read large amounts of text if its about your life.. but they see a picture in an instance. Once again show them how much fun you are.

So there you go. Stuff that I do, stuff I need to do. Xmas may bring a small facelift to the blog. Pics and one-liners…

Life changing.

LeoN7788 wrote:

So over the past 2-3 years i have become increasingly more confident in approaching others even before i discovered PUA.

In particular within the last few months since i have been reading more and more into the pua scene i have found that it has helped me in business in the ways in which i build rapport and relationships with customers and suppliers and being able to read how they would react to certain situations and how to control them to a certain extent.

i’m just intrigued as to how it has helped you in day to day life.

I totally agree with when someone says that it totally changes your lifestyle as it has mine.

—– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —–

For me, learning all of this has become a double edged sword. On the one hand, I’ve found so much potential. I’ve realised that nothing I previously believed impossible actually is and that with the right mentality and drive I can accomplish anything.

I can talk to anyone, get whatever I want, do anything.

But finding out what I can do, what I can be, has shown me the cage that is my life. I’m trapped in a course for a career that I’m not sure I ever want to go into. I honestly now see Chemistry as my backup to my backup (Forensics).

I guess this post is just to say that the concept underlying my life has been vastly improved, to the point where I’m noticing how far from the ideal my life is. I have great dreams and aspirations that I will work towards, but I’m suffering until I manage to get the foundations down.

For all of you in the same situation, stay strong. The ideal will soon be yours, just keep working towards it.

100% success rate?

I’ve seen some material out there recently that boasts 100% success rate with women. My post today is to point out that this is bullshit. There is NO 100% SUCCESS RATE.

Some PUAs write books, much like I do, and alter their perceptions of the world, much like I have, to show no failure. I really do, intrinsically believe that there is no such thing as failure. There is success and there are lurning curves, experiences that we learn from to later achieve success.

But lurning curves do happen. Success happens and it happens a lot of the time for those of us who have practised a lot, but it doesn’t happen 100% of the time.

I will at some point try to sell a book I’m currently writing about pick up, I will point out the many benefits of my book over others, but I will promise you this now: At no point will I mislead you into thinking that you will always succeed, At no point will I lie to you about what the book can do and at no point will I try to make you into someone you’re not.

What I WILL try to do is get you to be yourself. A more confident, skilled, outgoing self, but you won’t have to compromise your charactre. I WILL try to teach you what I’ve learned through the pick up community and game (it doesn’t all apply to game, some of it applies to general life) and I WILL tell the complete truth throughout.

I put in this last piece because (a) there are a lot of people telling you that they can sell you a book to ensure you never fail and (b) there are a lot of PUAs out there who are incongruent with their actions, leading to problems in the long term.

So final message: there is no 100% system, buy my book when I publish it and I will show you how to increase the odds of success.

Got the skills to pay the bills?

let the game begin

So this brings a question to my mind: Can PUA skills be used in an entrepreneurial sense to open a business?

Lets see, to be an entrepreneur, you need to be smart, work hard, be confident, find opportunity and actually have the drive to carry it through.

Knowlege + Physical Capability + Confidence + Drive + Opportunity = Success

This is a formula posted by skylark a while back about pickup.

I guess what’s needed in any situation is the same set of needs and rules. It may be time for me to continue working out my long term plan for success.

Ethics.

On one of the forums I use, fox_theone asked the question, ‘Is it wrong to take an AFC’s girl?’ What follows is his question word for word.

I’m having a bit of a moral dilemma. There’s a HB8 with an AFC as far as I can tell. I haven’t spoken to him but his body language screams AFC. He’s always looking at the ground when walking, he carries the HB8′s bag when they’re walking even though it’s really light etc. I feel bad for the guy because I was an AFC too.

Should I still game the girlfriend? My conscience is acting up and I don’t know what to do Very Happy

It really got me thinking on the ethics of what we do in game.

Anyone who knows me will agree that I’m a good guy. I’m a dick, I’m arrogant, I’m egocentric, but I’m good.

Well I’ve been through so much with you. Nobody that I’ve ever been with has helped me to grow so much. Nobody’s ever seemed to care like you do. You’re not just a ‘Boyfriend’ for lack of better words, you’re a best friend. i always want you in my life. And I hope you’d wanna be with me in the same way I wanna be with you, and although that may never happen, being with you, even polygamous, may just be enough, because you mean more to me than anyone. X

That is a text that my ‘girlfriend’ sent me. She lives back down south and I see her whenever I visit home. I met her about two years ago, at college, and introduced her to my friend ‘A’. ‘A’ was a complete AFC and kissed her once, maybe twice over the three months (I think) that they were together.

Now, I used to be that guy who looked out for everyone, the ‘nice guy’ throughout high school, never stood out, never really fit in though and in the seven years between high school and college in which I travelled, I stopped trying to do either and just started watching the world. I watched interactions between people, businesses, read the papers and watched everything I could that was happening in the world around me. I noticed the patterns and the pieces that fit together and I learned many lessons.

One lesson I learned is that we all need to be more introspective. We ask other people for advice on difficult subjects for validation of our actions, we judge ourselves by everyone else’s grading system but too often do we ignore our own. The problem with this is summarised in the following Dr Cox quote:

“Lady, people aren’t chocolates. D’you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don’t find them half as annoying as I find naive bobble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.”

The fact is that whoever wrote that script was right. The vast, Vast majority of people are bastards and can be categorised along a line, the two extreme points are as follows:

1) There are those that care for nobody but themselves, they are immoral and don’t care what the consequences of their actions are, only that they get the result they want. These people are bastards and either don’t know or don’t care.

2) Those who care for everyone else before themselves, however in doing so become gossips, convincing themselves that it is in the best interest of person ‘X’ if they tell person ‘Y’ about event ‘Z’. These people are bastards but convince themselves otherwise.

What you need to decide is where along that line each of your values lie. Don’t just ask other people’s advice and follow it blindly. By all means, ask their advice, take into account their views and opinions, think about the effects of your actions and whilst you shouldn’t be a bastard like everyone else, learn to be a badass. Decide on YOUR views, on where YOUR lines are, on what YOU are willing to do, both in relationships and out.

Choose your own ethical standpoint, define your own reality. Only you can decide who you are.

Seeing other PUAs?

So I was out with Skylark tonight at a gig where he was playing. I wasn’t there to sarge at all (My back’s been hurting all day, I have chem work that I should have been figuring out instead of going out for a drink and I feel like i’m putting on weight again, so I need to start exercising again… Why did I even stop? Weird. But anyway…) and somehow instead ended up watching the interractions that other people make and how they demonstrate how NOT to play this little game of ours.

Example 1 – Drunk dude to girl with flower band.

Ok, so Man 1 (cider man) walks up to girl with hairband adorning flower (Flower girl) and says something to her, points at his friend (drunk guy) and then walks away. DG moves over to FG and immediate heavy kino, before he’d even said a word. The next 15 minutes was him drinking and asking her questions while she had very closed off body language, was playing with her phone, talking to her friends, etc. She may as well have been holding a big ‘FUCK OFF’ sign. Every time she said anything, he’d act as if he hadn’t heard (Even when I heard, three tables away) and would lean in for her to talk into his ear. As she did this, he would stare down her top and near enough drool. Needless to say, some emergency or other came up and the three girls left.

Lessons:

A) Alcohol and game do not mix. Even if you’re just using it for a bit of ‘Dutch courage’. By drinking to encourage your courage, you are not working on the skills that you really should be. As you drink more, your brain is affected. You may think you’re being cocky funny, but in actuality you’re a slurring dickhead. Remember, it’s not that you’re talking, It’s not what you’re saying, it’s what you’re doing and HOW you do it.

B) If you wanna see her boobs, don’t stare down her top. I hate AMOGging people, but with that kind of display, you better believe I went over there, AMOGged him out of set (I prompted them to find that emergency) and then left myself. I don’t care that I wasn’t going for them, I just cared that people like that make it harder for us to pick up. Women expect guys on the approach to be like that as a result of pissheads like him and they put up their shields, which is why a lot of AFCs suffer AA.

Example 2 – How not toneg and how not to ignore… or possibly isolate? …your target.

Great, so we’re then outside at the end of the session, when a guy comes out walking like he was john wayne, legs so saddle bent that you could have tied string between his ankles and used him like a bow. He walks over to his mates, exchanges a few words then moves across to a couple of girls who were stood a few feet away from me having a cigarette. He talks, bodyrocks, talks, bodyrocks, talks, bodyrocks, talks and walks away. From the looks on their faces, he was negging them with every sentence. This was done artfully I have to admit because throughout the whole encounter the two girls barely said three words to him. After he walked off, they looked at each other in puzzlement and left.

HE, however, rejoins his friends at the end of the pathway by the doors when two beauties walk out. The three guys pounced as they walked by. I will admit, they seemed to do a good job of opening. The two girls stopped and chatted, I was oh-so impressed that this guy and his friends were not being… themselves, I guess… Was impressed, until one guy kind of side-stepped between the two girls. He was either ignoring his target, the shortish brunette, by placing his back in her path (Blocking her from moving from the spot where she stood, as his friends were behind her *and not keeping her attention* so she couldn’t move forward or backwards and couldn’t see her friend through the other guy) or he was trying to isolate the medium blonde, who obviously couldn’t give a shit, was just cold and wanted to go home.

Brunette and I shared some eye contact and a laughing shrug. Had I been in the mood to game I’m sure I would have got her number at least by ‘saving’ her from the group of wannabe AFCs.

Lessons to be learned here:

A) Again, alcohol does not help you.

B) If you are using body language to ignore the target, do it subtley. If you are obvious with it, you come off as a twat. If you’re Isolating, have your friends capture the obstacle’s attention and ACTUALLY ISOLATE, don’t just stand between them.

C) If you see dumb stuff happening with wannabe PUAs, go over and either help them or help the girls. You can use all sets for social proof (at the very least) later on and maybe more if they can develop into contacts or f-closes.

Well anyway, What I’m ultimately saying here is that when you are out and about, watch the interractions, learn from other people’s mistakes and use them, integrate these lessons into your game and it will start to become a lot easier than you ever thought it could be.

Think about the coolest thing you ever saw. What about the coolest thing you ever heard? The coolest thing you ever felt? The coolest thing someone ever said?

Why are these things cool? Ultimately, it’s all cool because it all seems easy, right? Although you know that there’s effort involved, the practioner is confident in what he or she is doing. To really do anything with style, it has to seem effortless.

Of course, we know it’s not easy, but the trick is to make it seem like it is to an outside observer or the person you’re interracting with. Easy means confident and relaxed, appearing as though the outcome doesn’t matter.

So I guess that’s it. Relax and let go of the outcome… Learn from other people’s mistakes and don’t drink when picking up women.

Wall. Of. Text. I know, but whatever. Peace.

A new tangent.

I’m writing a book, about confidence and lifestyle, using the concepts I’ve learned from the game and PU in general. So far i’ve almost completed the first chapter but I’m only really working on it in the weekends and stuff, so I need ideas of what to put in. That way, when I get to writing it, I can just sit down and blast through.

Something I’m happy with: I seem to be advancing in my game really quickly. I’ve started helping out AFCs who don’t have a clue and been teaching confidence techniques to people in the real world (lets face it, this in’t real). The only problem is I’m not really throwing myself into my own game for various reasons.

God how I look forward to February.

So anyway, only a short (ish) post today, see what I can come up with for tomorrow.

-Peace out.

It’s been a while…

So, I’ve been getting into the game lately and it’s really helped me out with the depression and people problems I’ve been noticing the past few years. See, I used to be great with women, was almost never out of relationships, then got engaged, turned 18, had sex for the first time (god, why did I put it off so long?) and since then, it’s been almost non-stop.

I guess what i’m saying here is that I’ve always been a natural at picking up women, however my problem was that I was turning what should have been a bit of fun into LTRs. not even MLTRs, just boring, day in-day out crap, you know? I mean hell, engaged at 18?!? Not for very long thank god. The problem with this is that whilst it suits many people just fine, I don’t believe in monogamy. Evolution itself does not endorse monogamy. If you want more on this, just ask and I’ll post up about why.

So anyway, I ended up engaged at 18, overweight by 19 (I used to eat when I was unhappy), balding by 20 (just bad genes), diagnosed with depression by 21 (I had been for years)… and then I moved to Hull. I had known of the game previously, but only loosely. I found the book in the summer between my first and second year, then ‘the mystery method’, read them both within a couple of weeks and then put out my feelers in hull to try and find other… ‘players’ of the game… yeah.

What I found instead were JTee, C4, RichT, Jimmy Q, NCee and Skylark.

JTee was a ‘one day’ player, in that he knew all the theory, but never made any approaches, he wanted to be a PUA, but would forever say ‘one day I want to…’ and ultimately never would.

C4 was pretty cool, and whilst he was the only PUA of the original set, he unfortunately relied on drunk girls and moved out of hull a couple of weeks after I met him for a change of job.

RichT was a no-show to everything. He used to wing with C4, but from what C4 told me, he was more into the drinking than the personal development and social stuff.

Jimmy Q was also a no-show. When I first found our ‘lair’, I sent out an e-mail to everyone from the Hull scene that I could find and when I eventually got in contact with him 4 months later, I found that he too was a drinker not a player.

NCee I met at university. He’s taller than I am, like ridiculously so. I seem to be the shortest PUA ever, lol, and I watched him for a couple of hours as he opened women, but I seriously got the vibe that the women do, that he would be a friend at best. What was weird is that I first found his contact details the day after he broke up with his girlfriend and the same is true for…

Skylark, a musician/singer who has a rather Russell Brand atmosphere about him. Again, the day after he and his girlfriend broke up, though this didn’t seem to affect him too much for a few weeks. We went out social proof building and stuff and are pretty close friends.

I took over the Hull lair forum and have been trying to drum up some interest from the above mentioned AFCs, to little avail. So now I’m branching out and reviving this site for use as a homepage. I’m also trying to start earning money through a few different things I’m going to be trying out. One thing I want to start doing is advertising events in the Hull area, so if you’re from around here, let me know if you have something planned or if you know of something upcoming.

Heh. Well anyway, Peace out everyone.

-Fenix